Tuesday, November 30, 2004

May the Force Be...BOOYAH

Hilarious new SportsCenter commercial featuring Chewbacca, Darth Vader, C3PO & R2D2.

Must see.

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Depleted Uranium

I've linked on this before but this flash video is very disturbing.

CAUTION: Graphic images.

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Jeopardy Champ Chokes Dives

Paging Mr. Van Doran. OK that's an inaccurate reference, but I mentioned Quiz Show more than once during Ken Jennings's Jeopardy run.

Hear me out. (It'll help if you saw the carnage.)

It seemed like Jennings was working hard to answer the two Daily Double questions in Double Jeopardy. Of course he missed both to keep the eventual winner in the game. But the big clue for me was Final Jeopardy. I thought the question was kind of easy. Don't get me wrong, in all of the years watching I've guessed the Final Jeopardy answer several times but have been almost certain of my response only a handful of times, I'm no genius. The answer of H&R Block seemed like a no brainer. (Mrs. Horns called me brilliant before the song was finished. She may be right, if biased.)

The look on his face after he realized he was done gave it away to me. The reaction seemed all wrong. I think he was sick of playing and laid down.

I can't be the only person who thinks this, can I?

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Fun with Amazon

People who shopped for this also shopped for this.

Stayin' alive.

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Secret Message from Bin Laden


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Salvation Army

I was at the store and saw a woman with the bell asking people for change.

She looked at me expectantly.

I kept walking.

Think about it.

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Has it made a comeback?

FYI: It was banned by the United Nations in 1980.

(Of course we know how our President and the neo-cons feel about the U.N.

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Monday, November 29, 2004

MISSING: Sponge Bob Squarepants

A sad tale.

The ransom note was very specific:
..."Give us ten Crabby Patties, fries and milkshakes."... "Patrick is next"...

Terrorists. Is nothing sacred?

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Free Cheetos with Purchase

Target goes green.

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GOP Congress

In case you're wondering with my lack of political blogging lately, yes, I'm still pissed off.

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Dan Rather Defended...

...by the unlikliest of sources. Bill O'Reilly!

Of course you can still see some hypocrisy shining through.

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Supremes Decline to Hear Gay Marriage Case

The Supreme Court on Monday sidestepped a dispute over gay marriages, rejecting a challenge to the nation's only law sanctioning such unions.

Justices had been asked by conservative groups to overturn the year-old decision by the Massachusetts Supreme Court legalizing gay marriage. They declined, without comment...

The story refers to the MA law.

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Down Goes Jennings!

According to sources, Ken Jennings will lose on Jeopardy tomorrow.

I suspect he'll return for the Tournament of Champions.

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Seinfeld Dictionary

Lack of posting due to the fact that I've been ill. In bed all weekend.

A huge shout out to Uncle Horns for still being smoke free. Go. Me. Go. Me!

For your Monday morning amusement, the Seinfeld dictionary. Sample entry:
Buck Naked - what a man might call himself under the following conditions; a) he is trying to convince his mother that he isn't gay, but is a porno actor under that name, b) he is trying to convince his girlfriend that he is gay, so they can break up (only she doesn't believe him, hence he tries to turn her off by telling her that he is a porno actor under that name)

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Uncle Horns Tip of the Day

Cook your turkey upside down so the meat is juiciest.

Be thankful for what you have.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Slimy Rumsfeld

...And now, apparently, Rumsfeld’s obsession with machines and their efficiency has translated into his using one to replace his own John Hancock on KIA (killed in action) letters to parents and spouses. Two Pentagon-based colonels, who’ve both insisted on anonymity to protect their careers, have indignantly reported that the SecDef has relinquished this sacred duty to a signature device rather than signing the sad documents himself...

Doing 1,200 actual signatures is hard work.

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Think You've Got it Bad?

Blog post of questionable taste ahead...

According to Popular Science magazine the The Worst Job in Science is....we're not making this up.....their study not mine.....Anal Wart Researcher

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Not-So-Rapid Eye Movement

Useful primer on when to use the wink.

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Barn Door is Open

What's Vladdy Putin looking at?

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Quote of the Day

From Ron Artest, the man who was suspended for the remainder of the NBA season for going into the stands to attack a fan on Friday night after a bench clearing brawl:

"...I'm trying to be positive. I'm a big fan of the Nobel Peace Prize."

Don't look for Artest to receive the 4am call from Stockholm anytime soon.

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How to impress everyone on your blogroll.

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Monday, November 22, 2004

Earth Hurtles Into Sun

Ozzy Osbourne and family finished with reality TV.

He needs the time to work on the book he's writing with Stephen Hawking.

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Colin's Greatest Hits

2000 - Colin, who owned more than 13 million dollars of America Online and sat on its board, benefits when his son Michael (FCC Commissioner) lets the AOL-Time Warner merger go through. Colin made an estimated 4 million dollars because of the merger.

Colin goes on the campaign trail in support of George W. Bush and serves as the “foreign policy” advisor to the campaign. He is eventually appointed to Secretary of State, where he has served ever since (will retire when successor is confirmed).

2002 - Visits the site of the Jenin Massacre in the West Bank and later testifies to Congress “I’ve seen no evidence that would suggest a massacre took place” despite UN, Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International reports stating otherwise.

2003 - Colin speaks at the U.N. in February, showing “proof” that Iraq is in possession of banned WMD. The following invasion fails to turn up a single banned weapon.

More from the best Romanian blogger on the planet, Soj, at Liberal Street Fighter.

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Kevin Sites

He is the man who took the video of the marine killing the insurgent last week.

There are strong feelings about this on all sides of the blogosphere. For an excellent look at everything go read this post from Leah at Corrente. I suggest clicking through to all of the links, but reading Sites' words first.


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Best Slogan for an Anti-STD Campaign

No Rubba, No Hubba Hubba

Runner up: Don't Let Him Near You

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Brand Democrat

I'm thinking these would make great Christmas presents for everyone on your list. (Mom, Scroll down for the JFK one. Thanks in advance.)

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War on Drugs

I haven't blogged on smuggling in a while, so...

Peruvian authorities found almost 700kg of Bolivian Marching Powder in a frozen squid bound for the U.S. via Mexico. The street value is over $25 million.

No word if this will impact calamari production.

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Saturday, November 20, 2004


My eternal gratitude for anyone can spell this phonetically for me in the comments below.

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Saturday: Good News & Bad News

Bad news first. The Nittany Lions crushed the Michigan State Spartans today 37-13. Penn State had five picks and scored 28 points in the third quarter. Coach Paterno said he will return next year. Surprisingly, that isn't the bad news. The downer was I didn't attend the game.

The good news is that I'm still smoke free and feeling great.

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Friday, November 19, 2004

Star Wars Episode 3

Darth Vader is born.

Due 5/19/05.


QuickTime trailer here.

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Dude Trying to Catch a Tree

Don't try this in your back yard.

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How to make it.
How to drink it.
How to sell it.

I knew you were wondering.

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Condolences to my friend Pete, who lost a good friend this week.

You can read about Sunny here.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Sneeze

Very funny.

And blogroll worthy...

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Hey. I just realized...

...I quit smoking two days before tomorrow's Great American Smokeout.

Almost 43 hours smoke free. Go. Me.

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Changing the Rules

To protect one of their own, the House of Representatives will decide today whether members in leadership position can keep their post after being indicted by a grand jury.

If adopted, it will be known to me as the Tom Delay Cockroach Rule.

Look for the GOP Congress to change the filibuster rule next to ensure rule over the human ovary.

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Uncounted FL Ballots Found

Look what was found when someone was cleaning an office.

This begs the question:

Who moved them from the trunk of Jeb's car?

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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Post of the Day

Maybe if it was ganja.

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New SecState

Beautiful music...

Sourcing my work.

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Where Was I?

A very difficult couple of days. Thanks for all of the good wishes and to my betrothed for sharing her feelings so eloquently in the previous post. (Angel, I really didn't change the password.) The upshot is that I'm now smoke free. I'm 'patch worthy' and popping Starbursts like they're Tic Tacs. It won't be easy but if it were then we could spend the tobacco settlement money on inner city schools or something else worthwhile. I'll post on my progress when I feel like I've made some.

Onto the first item of the day...

"Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics"

Go take a look at The Joy of Sexual Physics, here. Be sure to read, "Sex at the Speed of Light." High comedy (unintentional, I think.)

Insert inappropriate joke below. I'll start:

That was quick.

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Sunday, November 14, 2004

Mrs. Horn has something to say

Knowing that someone or everyone will think I have committed the ultimate evil Blog act while my poor husband sleeps..... Here goes... EBY I love you.
In the last 4 years you have stood by my side over D's trauma room bed holding my hand, holding his hand, and holding J as we all wondered if this was the last time no fewer than 10 times.
You worried fussed a fretted about me and wee L as we became parents again (at advanced parental age no less)
When he was 14 days old you held me when we learned my Dad and StepMom had been murdered and took care of the home fort while I flew down to Texas with your long awaited, precious new born son. You supported me and my siblings during those early days in ways we will never know because you did it quietly and with as little upset as possible.
You threw yourself on a situational grenade to save what could be of a relationship with my mother when I was at the point of letting her have a well deserved flaming. In your wisdom you knew I would need a remaining parent down the road.
You said nothing although it was killing you to have me down there with L and you up here with the big boys for months as I worked at the Teaxs home and delt with attys.
You have been my love during months of grief and worry over my younger siblings. Petting my head as I cried and fretted over them even though they are all grown and most of them competent adults.
You worked tirelessly for the future of our boys by regitering voters, banging on doors, and blogging, and talking about the condition you saw in our country and taking a stand that something had to change. You made a difference wherever you went.
You have taken up so much at home now that I'm flat out from my teaching injury (yes, it can be a contact sport)
You stood for your Grandmother's last wishes last month and honored her in the finest of ways at the end of her life.
Now I watched you tonight fussing over me , putting your father at ease, and reassuring members of your side of our family as they face their first tragic death.....Easing your Stepmother's Grief the way you did mine.

I love you. We love you. I want you to look at the headding of your BLOG again. This familiy has faced too much to lose you. We need you. Please stop smoking. Now. Mrs. Horn your wife C

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Friday, November 12, 2004

Don't Feel Much Like Doing This

I've just received word of another death in my family and, most likely, won't be blogging for a little while. Depending on how I feel this may change but at the moment this whole thing seems quite unimportant.

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Thursday, November 11, 2004

Letter to the Editor

Hadn't seen this one before:
I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.

It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.

The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

That 'encouraging gayness' thing is really driving our country into the growler.

And yes, the letter is from PA.

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That other Iraqi City

It looks like Mosul may be next.

(But only after we talk about invading the city for three weeks beforehand.)

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Hugh Grant to Retire

He's bored with acting.

Pity, that.

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Murder in Fallujah

Blogger witnessed on Australian TV:
As I sit here and write this I have tears streaming down my face, I am shaking and my heart is pounding. I have just witnessed a murder on my TV screen.

While watching Lateline on Australian ABC television there was a report from Fallujah. In the story they showed a marine saying, “I’ve just injured one, he’s between the two buildings”. At that moment another marine walks over to the gap between the two houses, he then climbs on a forty four gallon drum aims his gun at the injured Iraqi and fires one shot.

The marine then climbs back down saying, “He’s done”...

Update: In the comments below, Neil from Polemic Propaganda points out that he's seen the video in question and doesn't believe it's murder. Though I can't view the piece at work I will take Neil's word for it. Go take a look at Neil's blog and you'll see that he's one of the more level headed bloggers out there. Thanks Neil.

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Pharmacists Play God

Don't be surprised if Roe vs Wade isn't the only thing revisited during Bush II - War on Choice.

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Blogger Gets Visit From Secret Service

It was her. But it next time it could be you or me.

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

eBay Problem

Funny and foul.

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Liberal Street Fight

You'll notice the addition of Liberal Street Fight to the blogroll. This new blog is comprised of current and former Kossacks who all have a tremendous grasp of the issues that face our country today. With over 15 bloggers contributing the information will always be minty fresh.

I encourage you to visit often.

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Fahrenheit 9/11 Ineligible for Golden Globes

This could hurt Michael Moore's Oscar chances.

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Have You Seen My Stapler?

You've been missing a lot of work lately.

Well, I wouldn't say I've been missing it.

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Ashcroft Done

After taking some time to rest, this summer he will be opening up the first of his Goose Stepping camps in Golden, CO.

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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Tough Littering Law

A woman was fined $185 after dropping one sunflower seed in Oklahoma City.

Good thing Coburn was elected, he'll fix that law.


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Stick Figure Warning Signs

This is from a bag in a Dell Computer box.

More here.

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Threat Level

Do your part to battle terrorism.

Collect all five.

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What Pets Do When You're Away

Sneaky little critters.

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Cartogram Map of the Election

Based on electoral weight from the 2000 Census. Rescaled according to population:


UPDATE: Shrunk the map a little bit to allow the page to load quicker. Perhaps it will work, perhaps it won't.

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Monday, November 08, 2004

Actual Florida Voting Numbers

No explanation needed.


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Middle Finger Man

There is a man who lives in Provo, UT who sits on his porch all day giving people the one-fingered salute. This is the story of a blogger, his video camera and the man who filps people off. Enjoy.

Via BoingBoing.

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Galapagos Blogging

My friend Tina just returned from the Galapagos archipelago and took some wonderful pictures.

A Nazca booby.

I was planning the same trip when I met my wife five years ago. I think we're going to try and find a way to go to "Darwin's Playground." When I see pictures like these it energizes my wanderlust spirit.

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Still in Fourth Place

Celebrants and looters took to the streets of Oakland last evening after the Raiders won their third game of the season.

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More Missing Weapons

WaPo yesterday:
Several thousand shoulder-fired missiles -- the kind that could be used to shoot down aircraft -- are missing in Iraq, and their disappearance has prompted U.S. military and intelligence analysts to increase sharply their estimate of the number of such weapons that may be at large, administration officials said yesterday.

Some U.S. analysts figure that as many as 4,000 surface-to-air missiles once under the control of Saddam Hussein's government remain unaccounted for. That would raise the number of such missiles outside government hands worldwide to about 6,000...

It looks like we may not have enough people to guard this stuff.

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Keith Olbermann with a good post on where we are now.

If the MSM starts covering voter irregularities more in the coming days, I'll provide details. In the meantime I'm thinking the exercise is wasted energy.

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JoePa Must Go

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's the state of mind of Penn State's Head Football Coach.

After a thoroughly unimpressive 14-7 loss to Northwestern this past Saturday and watching Paterno's post-game press conference I've come to the conclusion that he can't do the job anymore.

He said after the game that he wanted to play freshman QB Morelli at some point, "...but there wasn't an opportunity." Gimme a break! How about after starter Michael Robinson threw an INT on his first pass of the game? How about in the second or third quarter when our offense wasn't doing anything and punter Kapinos was getting more work than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest?

In the middle of last week someone asked Paterno if he felt he deserved to coach next year. The coach's response speaks volumes, "I've been here for 55 years and don't appreciate that question." Nice. Isn't there just the slightest possibility that you are the reason we're so bad?

I bet being in football staff meetings is like being in meetings with the President. All sunshine. No opposing viewpoints.

There are other reasons too. Lackluster recruiting efforts and play calling to name a couple.

If the coach can't realize his limitations someone in the administration must do it for him.


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Saturday, November 06, 2004

Arkansas Man Wins City Council Seat Without Campaigning

I heard about this last night on NPR. He said if he ever runs for office again he'll do exactly the same thing:
Mike Overton beat his opponent, Rex Bailey 53% to 47%. Overton says he was covered up with work at his construction company. Bailey, meantime, spent $12,000 campaigning.

Overton's not exactly sure what helped him win his seat on the Springdale City Council. 

"Based on the calls I've been getting from friends, I had a few more votes than anticipated, but who would ever think that you would get them if you don't do what everyone thinks you're supposed to do...get tv ads, radio ads...I did none of that."

Overton never gave any speeches and didn't spend a dime. He won by about 200 votes. He says he's happy about the unexpected win and will serve on the city council.

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Friday, November 05, 2004

Campaign Dirt

Newsweek with the goods:
...The "Outlandish" McCain Offer. Kerry's courtship of Senator John McCain to be his running mate was longer-standing and more intense than previously reported. As far back as August 2003, Kerry had taken McCain to breakfast to sound him out to run on a unity ticket. McCain batted away the idea as not serious, but Kerry, after he wrapped up the nomination in March, went back after McCain a half-dozen more times. "To show just how sincere he was, he made an outlandish offer," Newsweek's Thomas reports. "If McCain said yes he would expand the role of vice president to include secretary of Defense and the overall control of foreign policy. McCain exclaimed, 'You're out of your mind. I don't even know if it's constitutional, and it certainly wouldn't sell.'" Kerry was thwarted and furious. "Why the f--- didn't he take it? After what the Bush people did to him...'"...

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Nice Shot

NJ School Hit By Jet Fighter Ammo:
There was a near catastrophe this week when a jet fighter strafed an elementary school in New Jersey.

No one was injured in the incident, which happened on Wednesday night.

Military officials confirmed that an F-16 fighter jet on a routine training mission fired 25 rounds of ammunition, hitting the wrong target and tearing through the roof of the Little Egg Harbor Township Intermediate School.

The shots damaged ceiling tiles, a desk and left some debris on the floor. Several janitors were inside the school when it happened, officials said.

One of the janitors called police after hearing what she said sounded like someone running across the school's roof.

The school is more than three miles from the Warren Grove Firing Range, which is used as a training ground for fighter pilots all over the East Coast.

Military officials said they were still investigating why the incident happened.

Classes had been canceled Thursday and Friday because of a teachers convention and were scheduled to resume on Monday.

Ways to get out of school: Teacher strikes. Snow days. Flood days. Friendly Fire Days.

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Alabama Recount on Constitution Revisions

A proposed amendment that would remove long-unenforced segregationist provisions from the Alabama Constitution trailed by a razor-thin margin Thursday and faces a recount.

Amendment 2 would remove language that provides for separate-but-equal schools for whites and blacks, authorizes poll taxes and specifies in a 1956 amendment that Alabamians have no constitutional right to public education...

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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Sure. C'mon Over. Don't Forget the Depleted Uranium!

President Holds Press Conference:
...Q Mr. President, American forces are gearing up for what appears to be a major offensive in Fallujah over the next several days. I'm wondering if you could tell us what the objective is, what the stakes are there for the United States, for the Iraqi people, and the Iraqi elections coming up in January?

THE PRESIDENT: In order for Iraq to be a free country those who are trying to stop the elections and stop a free society from emerging must be defeated.

And so Prime Minister Allawi and his government, which fully understands that, are working with our generals on the ground to do just that. We will work closely with the government. It's their government, it's their country. We're there at their invitation. And -- but I think there's a recognition that some of these people have to -- must be defeated, and so that's what they're thinking about. That's what you're -- that's why you're hearing discussions about potential action in Fallujah...

I bet our hosts the Iraqis would love to cash in a little of that 'political capital' themselves. (my emphasis)

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20 Reasons...

...why you shouldn't post your picture on the internet.

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I'm Over It

Some aren't.

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Ashcroft to Resign?

Please. Please. Please. Please.

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Canada 2.0


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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

2006 Mid-Terms

Well, what-do-you-know, Rick Santorum is up for re-election in '06.

[/mischievous grin]

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The Other Side

One of the things that I complain about often is the vast polarization that exists in the country today. I've deciided to be a little pro-active in this regard.

There is a conservative blog called Balloon Juice that I lurk at sometimes. The proprietor is a Steeler fan and a level-headed chap. I submitted the following comment at his site this morning:
First, I'm a liberal blogger.

The reason for this comment is that I wanted to congratulate you on President Bush's victory. I've visited your site periodically over the past year or so and, though I don't always agree with what you say, I respect your views (except on the Steelers ;-).

I think the blogosphere has done much to contribute to the divisiveness of the country. Excluding no one. I strongly feel this has to change, which is why I'm writing to you today.

So, moving forward, I'm going to try and avoid piling on the President with cheap shots just because I can. I will still criticize the President if I feel it's warranted and will continue to fight policies that I find reprehensible but will work hard to be respectful of the office of the President.

John, I'll be back and will attempt to contribute in a constructive way.

And when I find some time, I will add a new section to my blogroll with dissenting viewpoints. I'll add you when I do.

Thanks for your time.



I'm pissed that we lost the election across the board, but I don't think problems in this country will be solved by hating our elected leaders (see previous post.) If you've read this blog for any length of time that may sound a little hypocritical; but the future of this country, the country my 18-month old son will grow old in, is much too important to focus on IQ points or Botox. We need to raise the level of discourse to focus on the issues in an intelligent way.

That may be a naive viewpoint, but I'm going to try.

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Fat Lady in Full Voice

Kerry concedes.

President Bush received more votes than any candidate in the history of our country. I wish I had a joke for this.

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Fat Lady

She hasn't sung yet, but she's definitely in the Green Room.

I have lots of different thoughts going through my mind right now and on top of it I'm in the weeds at work. Oh yeah, I'm working on about three hours sleep. I know, cry me a river...

The one thing I can say is that we should be proud of what we accomplished. I don't think our efforts have been for naught. I'm very proud to say that my home state (DE) and the state where I volunteered the most (PA) went to Kerry. It is silly to hang our heads because we may have lost this election. We can build on what we've started.

I'm already thinking about the mid-terms...

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Tuesday, November 02, 2004


To nervous to blog. It looks to be a long night...

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Early Exit Poll Numbers

Posted by the AP at 2pm EST. Details here.

Take with a grain of salt. We're less than halfway through and these numbers can't stay this good. Can they?

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A Voter from the Right

Nice comment over at LGF...

...and my response.

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Avoiding a Replay of the 2000 Network Hatchet Job

TV Newser has the story of what the networks are going to do to make sure there isn't a reprise of their 2000 mistakes.

I'll probably watch NBC because their projection people will not be aware of what the other networks are airing. I'd rather them get it right than be pressured to air it first.

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Election Day

We take our country back today.

I was at my polling place in DE this morning at 6:30a, a half hour early, and there were already 10 people ahead of me. As we waited for the polling place to open there was a buzz among the people in line. We were all energized to fulfill our civic duty, though a little apprehensive about what this day could bring in terms of litigiousness. By the time the doors opened there were over 100 people in line with more streaming in by the minute. I voted for John F. Kerry and the sentiment I overheard in line was that many others were doing the same.

I'm now sitting in Center City Philadelphia waiting for my marching orders to take people to the polls. I will be taking handicapped and senior citizens to the polls all day.

Do your part.


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Monday, November 01, 2004


Commander Codpiece in action:
...Pulling out all the stops, Bush and first lady Laura Bush landed in his Marine One helicopter to the theme from the movie 'Top Gun' and departed in Air Force One with the crowd still squealing and waving...

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Philadelphia Voter Suppression

This beauty published in U.S. News & World Report from Republican Pennsylvania Speaker of the House, John Perzel:
"The Kerry campaign needs to come out with humongous numbers here in Philadelphia. It's important for me to keep that number down."

Not on my watch, asshole.

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Why Volunteer?

Read this letter...

...and be motivated.

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Blair Wants Kerry

From the UK Daily Record:
TONY Blair has privately admitted that he wants Democrat John Kerry to win tomorrow's US election.

The Prime Minister has acknowledged to at least two confidantes that a Kerry win would be a 'lifeline' for his own political future.

If Kerry does triumph, the result will undoubtedly help draw the poison out of the Iraq debate in Britain in the run up to a general election It would mean Blair could focus on the future of Iraq - not the disasters of the past.

And it may also soothe fractured relations within the Labour Party.

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Long Weekend

Many hours in the car to attend my grandmother's funeral in New England this weekend. A tough weekend is an understatement.

But I take solace in the fact that she thought Bush's policies were bad for the country. In light of this I'll be taking a half day tomorrow and volunteering in Philadelphia to make sure as many people as possible get to the polls.

Who's with me?

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