Monday, February 27, 2006

Wee horns 

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2nd Blogiversary

Two years ago today I launched this blog and I just want you to know that I've enjoyed sharing it with you. I want to thank you for all of the comments and kind words as I've had some serious ups & downs over the past two years.

Though I haven't been blogging much as of late, I still enjoy it and will continue for the time being. However, something is going to change. I don't know what, but it will.

I just went through a transformative weekend that has changed my outlook on life*. I'm thinking differently, communicating differently (that's the sound of Mrs. Horns dancing on the table you hear) and adjusting my outlook on life. All for the better.

We'll see what happens, but I urge you to stop back.

*Still a Democrat :-)

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Crash & Burn

The wagon didn't treat me well this time around. In fact, I don't think the wagon fights fair.

Stress from work has kept me very busy and I won't be posting much until next week.

This Fri, Sat & Sun I'll be participating in the Landmark Forum and am really looking forward to it. If anyone has thoughts or experiences with them leave a comment.

Next time you hear from me I'll be a member of the cult Landmark graduate.

All the best,

Uncle Horns

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fire Dog Lake - Contest

In honor of our VPs recent exploits and the creative prose by their commenters, FireDogLake is having a contest aptly titled, Dickfest.

Submit no more than four lines of prose/poetry and win some Bill Maher swag and get your poem put on a t-shirt. Hurry as time is running out...

My lame entry:

he shot him in the face
he doesn't need a warrant
taking care of their base
isn't it abhorrent

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Cool Houses

Is #11 the Fortress of Solitude? Link.

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Day Three

After a long and stressful day at work, I remain, smoke-free. Yeehaw. I'm tired.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

37 Ways to Say Someone Is Dim

My favorite:

Skylight leaks a little.

One that's not on the list that I learned from my woodshop teacher in high school:

"Half bubble out of plumb."

(The plumb being the two lines on a carpenter's level.)

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Day Two

Happy to say, still smoke free. Things are getting a little hectic at work, but I'm battling the stress by chain-eating Smarties. The sugar gives me a bump and that's a good thing. I'll be varying my intake soon by picking up Twizzlers & Blow-Pops later today.

Here's to many more smoke free days & nights...

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Monday, February 13, 2006

Baby horns 

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Make pop-tarrrrrts 

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A goldfish gets its bowl drained of its water, then the water gets replaced by Mountain Dew and the goldfish dies. The Mountain Dew is then drained and replaced with water. The goldfish is still dead, but is resurrected with a 9 volt battery.


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Back on the Wagon

There's a reason I haven't been blogging about my quest to quit smoking. I'm sure you can guess that the wagon hasn't treated me very well, in fact the wagon ran over me several times, backed up and tried to finish the job. Fortunately, the Horns' are a resilient people. Starting today you are going to see much more about my quest to give up the vile herb. (Not that one, CG, this is a family blog.)

I have a renewed faith that I can do it. I know the impetus has to come from within but I'm getting great support from Mrs. Horns and the lads. Particularly, the wee one who crawls on my lap, inches from my face so I can smell his budding halitosis and says, "DADDEEEEE." I don't need much more of a reason than that.

In the past, I've gotten tremendous support from the people who stop by to read my clever three word posts and I hope that continues. Rest assured I will keep everyone comprised of my battle and I appreciate all of your thoughts and good wishes as I put cigarettes behind me for good.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Cheney Shoots Hunting Companion

Even after giving him a two-hour head start.

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Run For Your Lives

Seriously, it's Hasselhoff bad.

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Snowy Wishes Come True

We have about 13" of snow here in northern Delaware and I'm in no mood to begin shovelling. It will be a relatively laid back day at the Horns' Estate as the wee one is at his grandparents and will be returning late this afternoon. The eldest lad is at his great-grandparents and will most likely return tonight.

The wee one and I were at the mall yesterday before it opened and had a little brekkie from the McDonalds. He really likes the hash browns and after getting his, he tore off toward the fountain. We sat beside the shooting water when he noticed all of the change at the bottom. "MONEY!" he exclaimed as he started to climb toward it. I pulled him back and explained that people throw money in and make a wish. He thought about that for a second and then hurled his hash brown into the center of the fountain. I'm not clear on the wish ruling for the hash-brown-in-the-mall-fountain, but he seemed happy and giggled as we watched the hash brown bob like a cork in the cascading waters.

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Do Bush Followers have a Political Ideology?

Glenn Greenwald has a terrific post about the political climate in our country. Read the whole thing and the comments.

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

50th Anniversary Present

Honey, in honour of our anniversary I'm going to eat a can of chicken that we got on our wedding day.

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Thursday, February 09, 2006


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Spam Subject Line of the Day

I was the proud recipient of this at work...

Former President Bill Klinton uses Voagra!

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'Brownie' Trying To Blackmail Bush?


I am not the lyrical Jesse James.

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Sleepy hat 

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You're Going to Live Boo Boo!

Good thing she didn't have to get out the paddles (CLEAR!):

Marian Morris saved her brother's exotic chicken, Boo Boo, by administering "mouth-to-beak" resuscitation on the fowl after it was found floating face down in the family's pond...

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"We are on the verge of an exciting time..."

If you consider building a new H-bomb an exciting time. Fuck.

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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Big Rabbit

Given the chance she will dine on you.

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Stress Reduction Kit

Four easy steps.

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Quote of the Day

"We know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there [standing ovation]... but Coretta knew and we know that there are weapons of misdirection right down here. Millions without health insurance. Poverty abounds. For war billions more but no more for the poor."

-Reverend Dr. Joseph Lowery, at the Coretta Scott King funeral, in front of 4 presidents....

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Monday, February 06, 2006

58 Ways to Get Rid of a Blind Date

#22 Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What took you so long in the restroom?!?"

The other 57.

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Another Day

Another Китайский большегруз.

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Britain Defies US on Int'l Abortion Aid

Excellent news.

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Sunday, February 05, 2006

Grandpa Munster

Dies at 95. RIP.

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Friday, February 03, 2006

Useless Birthdate Facts

As of 2/3/2006 5:05:16 PM EST I am 20,256,065 minutes old.

No wonder I had a little gray in my beard.

A gold star for anyone who can figure out my age from that. (Mom, this excludes you. Dad, give it a shot.)

Enter your birthdate here for some interesting tidbits.

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20th Century British Music

Laid out as a constellation on the London Tube Map. Be sure to click on the PDF link to get the full image.

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Pac Man

Game Over.

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I'm So NOT Surprised

Bush told Blair the US would invade Iraq two months before it happened:
Tony Blair told President George Bush that he was "solidly" behind US plans to invade Iraq before he sought advice about the invasion's legality and despite the absence of a second UN resolution, according to a new account of the build-up to the war published today.

A memo of a two-hour meeting between the two leaders at the White House on January 31 2003 - nearly two months before the invasion - reveals that Mr Bush made it clear the US intended to invade whether or not there was a second UN resolution and even if UN inspectors found no evidence of a banned Iraqi weapons programme.

"The diplomatic strategy had to be arranged around the military planning", the president told Mr Blair. The prime minister is said to have raised no objection. He is quoted as saying he was "solidly with the president and ready to do whatever it took to disarm Saddam"...


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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Unlikely Alliance

NASCAR and Harlequin to collaborate on romance novels.

I wonder if this race car driver will be involved?

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