Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy new year! 

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Monday, December 26, 2005


Sarah Zapolsky was checking in for a flight to Italy when she discovered that her 9 month old son's name was on the United States' "no fly" list of suspected terrorists.

I hope young Zaplosky learns to enjoy traveling by car.

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Worst E-Card EVAR


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I'm Back

I hope your gift giving entity treated you well.

Mine did and we gave some amazing gifts too.

All the best.


Uncle Horns

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

Eerie cookies 

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005


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JoePa: 2005 AP Coach of the Year

Today is the man's 79th birthday as well.

Good times.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Intelligent Design: PWN3D!!!

Creationism is not meant for science class.

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Monday, December 19, 2005

Uncle Horns is Number One

For all the best searches.

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Call For Impeachment

From a Congressman.

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North side of the stadium between the 45 and 50. Nice.

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Friday, December 16, 2005

To Quote Daniel J. Travanti...

Let's be careful out there.

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Thursday, December 15, 2005


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Top Searches of the Year by Subject

The usual bimbos suspects are included.


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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Where is the football? 

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Arrested Development to Showtime?

Good news, if it comes true.

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Shop New Orleans

Still looking for some holiday gifts? Take a peek over here for links to retailers in New Orleans. If anyone needs a boost, it's the Big Easy.

Look for French Market Coffee on the list. I always get their coffee & chicory at a great price.

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Spider Catcher

Book of Joe with the ordering details.

Personally, I think that any spider under two inches will be difficult to catch with this gizmo. Perhaps a more tried and true method is in order.

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Quality Headlines

From the Cardiff Echo. My favorite:

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Intelligent Design's Smarter Big Brother

Incompetent Design

The Other I.D.

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Wipe Your Ass With It, Mr. President

It's just the Constitution:
Last month, Republican Congressional leaders filed into the Oval Office to meet with President George W. Bush and talk about renewing the controversial USA Patriot Act.

Several provisions of the act, passed in the shell shocked period immediately following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, caused enough anger that liberal groups like the American Civil Liberties Union had joined forces with prominent conservatives like Phyllis Schlafly and Bob Barr to oppose renewal.

GOP leaders told Bush that his hardcore push to renew the more onerous provisions of the act could further alienate conservatives still mad at the President from his botched attempt to nominate White House Counsel Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court.

“I don’t give a goddamn,” Bush retorted. “I’m the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way.”

“Mr. President,” one aide in the meeting said. “There is a valid case that the provisions in this law undermine the Constitution.”

“Stop throwing the Constitution in my face,” Bush screamed back. “It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!”...

I'm glad we got that straightened out.

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I'm not sure if the border states know what they're up against.

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Technocrati Feeds

I subscribe to a couple of feeds from the amazing Technocrati, but am somewhat befuddled by links like this:

[Lifehacks]メモ帳はRHODIA 最近、ポールスミスが愛用しているというおしゃれ系ブロックメモRHODIAのNo. 丈夫でメモが勝手に破けてなくなることもないが、それでいて切り離しやすい。やっぱり...

A little help over here...

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Where I've Been...

You may have noticed that the posting hasn't been as frequent lately. There are a couple of reasons for this...

1. Work - This is an incredibly busy time of year for me. The majority of my clients are planning their media placements for 2006 and I'm knee deep in spreadsheets, phone calls and research.

2. Work - In addition to above, I've been putting together a presentation to get a promotion. It was very extensive and I'm elated to say that I gave it yesterday and everything went perfectly. I received several compliments about my thorough preparation and presentation skills. (The last wasn't a surprise. As a former thespian I really enjoy getting up in front of people.) The fruit of this labor should begin to bare itself on Thursday.

Besides that, I've been busy at Casa Horns helping kids with homework, doing dishes & laundry, getting ready for the holiday and helping Mrs. Horns stay sane through a challenging school year. Our family is always busy but it seems that this year it's a little extra crazy.

I should be back to posting the usual serious and thought provoking pieces very soon.

As a bartender I knew used to say:

Keep moving, don't be a target.

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Saturday, December 10, 2005

At The Drive-Thru

A restful content Saturday was ruined just now as I ordered two McNugget Happy Meals for the lads. The woman who took my order said, "I'm sure your grandkids will like this treat."

Ouch. Time to look into the plugs.

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Simple Minds

Don't yooooou forget about meeeeeeeeeee.

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Friday, December 02, 2005

Bird Flu Symptoms

The CDC has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever

2. Congestion

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Aching in the joints

6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield

Source: Just another thing floating around the Internets.

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How Fast Can You Type The Alphabet


(I was over 14 seconds. Shite.)

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Best List of the Best Year-End Lists

Click here and you'll understand.

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New Tshirt 

I know the Mother of Uncle Horns would appreciate this one. But I find it curious that when we meet and I ask about a game she changes the subject. Hmmmmm.

She knows that I've got a can of antidisestablishmentarianism ready for the triple word score.

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