Thursday, February 24, 2005
Victim's Statement
I recently posted about the murder of my father-in-law and his wife in 2003 along with the conviction of the murderer a week ago.
After the verdict, the following allocution was read by my wife Christine to the court, the jury and the convicted murderer.
I apologize for the length, but I didn't want to edit it. I also did not include the surnames of my wife's siblings. Finally, this post is intensely personal and something that all of the family holds very dear.
Who Joan and Bob were to each other
Partners who loved each other for all the things that were great and wonderful as much as the things that were not. They kept their individuality while creating something greater than themselves.
Joan took care of the business side of things allowing Bob to do the things he loved like take care of the home and Joan – cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house and the yard
Joan and Bob had a special marriage that was an glowing example for family and friends.
They made each other happier than they had ever been – they truly adored one another
Their happiness allowed them to be wonderful parents to their children as well as each other’s best friends
They were content in their marriage – yet still acted as newlyweds – hugging and kissing in quiet corners when they believed that no one else was around to witness their affection
Their love, affection and respect for each other led each of their children to find partners that were as complementary to them as Joan and Bob were to each other
Partners who loved each other for all the things that were great and wonderful as much as the things that were not. They kept their individuality while creating something greater than themselves.
Joan took care of the business side of things allowing Bob to do the things he loved like take care of the home and Joan – cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house and the yard
Joan and Bob had a special marriage that was an glowing example for family and friends.
They made each other happier than they had ever been – they truly adored one another
Their happiness allowed them to be wonderful parents to their children as well as each other’s best friends
They were content in their marriage – yet still acted as newlyweds – hugging and kissing in quiet corners when they believed that no one else was around to witness their affection
Their love, affection and respect for each other led each of their children to find partners that were as complementary to them as Joan and Bob were to each other
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Jonathan
To Jonathan – his father was his hero. He was his mentor, best friend and counselor.
My father always had a new joke or bit of trivia ready for Jonathan.
They had a continued “best toys” contest and talked about what was new and available or soon to be on the market.
They often talked shop and about computers and programming which was a ‘true love’ for both of them.
Jonathan was really starting to get to know Joan. She became a mentor when it came to going back to school – and she helped provide the kick in the pants that he needed to get him through school.
Jonathan loved to talk to her about the things in life he could look forward to after he was done with school.
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Kimberly
To Kimberly – her mother, Joan represented love, support, hugs laughter and advice. They were true role models to her.
To Kimmy – their house was command central. They were always there when she needed anyone to talk about anything.
She adored just being in their presence – being the youngest and in town – Kimmy would frequently go over to their house because it was one of the most comfortable and warm places she had been.
Joan would make it a special occasion when Kimmy came to the house and she would stop her schoolwork to spend time with her and try out her new recipes on her.
Kimmy enjoyed watching the History channel with Bob – even if it actually bored her to tears – it was just the time that she got to spend with him doing something he really enjoyed.
Kimmy would like to sit and watch Joan do the bills or homework as it gave them the opportunity to talk and hang out.
Kimmy had asked Bob to walk her down the aisle when she got married – as she felt that he was a wonderful father – but they both agreed that it might be difficult for her biological father – so Kimmy asked Joan to escort her instead. Joan was so happy.
After their murder – Kimmy chose to walk down the aisle alone - only accompanied by the spirit and memory of her mother.
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Jennifer
To Jennifer – Joan was her hero. She was her role model. Jenny wanted to be just like her mother. A hard worker who achieved anything she set her mind to. In fact, in college she wrote a paper about how Joan was a hero to her. When she presented it to Joan – she cried and was touched.
Joan was Jenny’s rock. Whenever she needed advice – and even advice she didn’t want to hear – Joan gave it with all her heart.
To Jennifer – my father – Bob represented everything a father should be. He became a surrogate daddy to her and she loved and adored him even more so because he loved her even though she wasn’t his biological daughter.
They would tease each other – and Jenny had the honor of taking care of Daddy when he had his heart bypass.
She truly regarded Bob as her father and one year on father’s day she asked him if she could call him Dad – and with tears in his eyes he said yes – and they both cried about it.
Jennifer feels blessed and honored to have known such wonderful, beautiful people.
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Christine
To me; Joan is a mentor. She gave advice and support and encouragement. When my second son’s medical needs changed my life completely – she quietly and with gentle humor introduced me to coupons, budgets and how to find and utilize social services.
Joan also showed me how to stand back up – dust myself off – and end up better off than I was before.
Father-sir is my heart. He was the one who taught me to cook, to shop and read about the sea.
Daddy was my confidante and even across the country – he would call me to watch TV together or make a new recipe.
As grandfather sir – he would play computer games over the phone with the older boys and give them advice on how to torture me – their poor mother.
Father Sir taught me duty, honor, service and respect. That is why I teach today and serve my community in any way I can.
Negative Impacts - Jonathan
It hurts me that they never got to see me graduate from college – knowing that was something they both wanted so much for me.
They never got to see me get married and see how wonderful my wife Carla and I are together.
They will never see their grandchildren grow into the fine adults that I know they will be.
My children will never experience the love and knowledge they brought to everyone.
I miss them every day.
The image of them dead will never go away. No one should ever have to identify the bodies of people they loved. I make sure to keep a picture on my mantelpiece so each day I can try to forget a little more of those horrible images I still hold in my memory.
Negative Impacts - Kimberly
I have had nightmares. I have had dreams that they are still alive and upon waking – it is with deep sadness and regret that they are really gone.
I am now frightened to walk in front of mirrors in the dark – as I am afraid that I will see their presence and I am not ready for that yet.
I am terrified to be in my own home alone – sounds scare me and I have a fear that someone will break in and kill me.
I am scared to go from my car to the house – I always have my keys ready now and lock the door as soon as I enter the house.
I get very emotional on weekends and holidays – because I know I should really be with them at those times.
I get emotional when I drive by the Parks Mall in Arlington or drive down streets and past areas that I used to drive to with them or on the way to their house.
I have depression at the thought of not ever having them at all the special occasions. - Mom holding my hand when I have my first child – moving into my first real home – my Master’s graduation – my future children’s graduation.
I will never forget the day I got the phone call that I had to come and identify my parents’ bodies. I have never cried so much in my life – and probably never will again.
Negative Impacts - Jennifer
I don’t go a day without thinking of them. I try every day to get the images out of my head of what their house was like when it was released to us. I will never forget the smell or the sight of their blood on the walls and the carpet.
I have forgotten what it is to sleep – and I am haunted at night by dreams and night terrors of someone breaking into my home and killing me in my sleep.
I have found ways to secure and lock myself up as best I can – but I still have the fear that no matter how careful I am – that someone will eventually kill me.
I relive in my imagination every day how absolutely horrible those last moments must have been for my parents and it makes me want to weep.
My parents never got to see me marry my wonderful husband – or see the fruits of their labors in regards to the wedding.
My children will never know their grandparents. They will never get to know what wonderful people they were. They will only have my memories – “I” will only have my memories.
I will never be able to hug my mother or Bob again. Some days I would give anything to just get one last hug. I would give 15 years of my life just to get that one last hug and to tell them I love them just one more time.
I will never forget that even after all of this is over – I will never get them back and that having to go through this trial – this ordeal has made us all victims once more.
Negative Impacts - Christine
Since their murder – my days and nights are filled with grief, worry and fear. I walk the floors late at night worrying over the safety of the rest of my family.
My husband grieved the loss of his In-laws and the absence of our new baby while trying to take care of our older boys solo while I was here taking care of my family and the estate while recovering from childbirth.
Our baby Liam was 14 days old when I had to come to Texas. I had to get him on a plane and separate him from his father, his remaining grandparents, great-grandparents and brothers for the entire summer while I handled estate matters.
And even now, at 22 months – he wants and cries for mama and daddy who have had to take the trip out here for this trial.
My older children, Julian and Duncan suffer tremendously from nightmares, intense grief and emotional outbursts. Their school performance has been greatly impacted by this tragedy.
They are questioning and worrying about death in ways that such small children should not have to worry about and have impact their daily lives so intensely.
My son Duncan was required to join me for the summer of 2003 here in Texas for medical reasons – and while in the Kingswood St. KinderCare® during the day – he was told in great detail by the older children enrolled in the camp exactly how his grandparents were murdered. He held that inside for months until he finally asked if people who were killed by guns were allowed to go to heaven.
My children and husband are all learning how to live with this ‘new’ mama – one who seems always sad and only sometimes joyful.
I haven’t learned to live with this new person yet myself.
Father Sir and Grandma Joan have missed holding little Liam – their latest grandson –who has now learned to walk.
They missed Julian – my oldest son’s acceptance into his school’s excelled program.
They have missed learning that our son Duncan’s life-threatening seizures can be cured with surgery and that despite his brain injury – he has learned to read and is advanced in math.
They have missed the start of my Doctorate and my husband proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is the bravest man on earth – which is always what they believed about him.
Service and Honor
My greatest fear throughout my childhood was a knock at the door that would reveal two officers and a briefcase informing us that my Father Sir has given the ultimate sacrifice for his country. – But instead it was a late night phone call telling me that my Father Sir and his beautiful, sweet wife Joan had made the ultimate sacrifice – forced on them for a car, a cell phone and some credit cards – by Lance Kirk – an American neighbor who has served no one and made no sacrifices to serve or support others in family, community or country.
We as a family pray that one day – the full weight of what you have done to this family, this community and your family truly hit you. For not only have you taken the lives of two wonderful, caring, generous people who were trying to give you all that you asked for – but you have forever wounded my family – and your family as well.
Not only do you have to live with your actions for the rest of your life – but so do we and so does your family.
We charge you to think about the lives of our parents each and every day and what kind of contributions they made to their family, friends, community, and country. And, we charge you to reflect each day on your future and what you can change so that you also can make contributions to your family, friends, community and country.
We charge you to make positive contributions to those in your future communities.
| Permalink Here
I recently posted about the murder of my father-in-law and his wife in 2003 along with the conviction of the murderer a week ago.
After the verdict, the following allocution was read by my wife Christine to the court, the jury and the convicted murderer.
I apologize for the length, but I didn't want to edit it. I also did not include the surnames of my wife's siblings. Finally, this post is intensely personal and something that all of the family holds very dear.
Who Joan and Bob were to each other
Partners who loved each other for all the things that were great and wonderful as much as the things that were not. They kept their individuality while creating something greater than themselves.
Joan took care of the business side of things allowing Bob to do the things he loved like take care of the home and Joan – cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house and the yard
Joan and Bob had a special marriage that was an glowing example for family and friends.
They made each other happier than they had ever been – they truly adored one another
Their happiness allowed them to be wonderful parents to their children as well as each other’s best friends
They were content in their marriage – yet still acted as newlyweds – hugging and kissing in quiet corners when they believed that no one else was around to witness their affection
Their love, affection and respect for each other led each of their children to find partners that were as complementary to them as Joan and Bob were to each other
Partners who loved each other for all the things that were great and wonderful as much as the things that were not. They kept their individuality while creating something greater than themselves.
Joan took care of the business side of things allowing Bob to do the things he loved like take care of the home and Joan – cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house and the yard
Joan and Bob had a special marriage that was an glowing example for family and friends.
They made each other happier than they had ever been – they truly adored one another
Their happiness allowed them to be wonderful parents to their children as well as each other’s best friends
They were content in their marriage – yet still acted as newlyweds – hugging and kissing in quiet corners when they believed that no one else was around to witness their affection
Their love, affection and respect for each other led each of their children to find partners that were as complementary to them as Joan and Bob were to each other
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Jonathan
To Jonathan – his father was his hero. He was his mentor, best friend and counselor.
My father always had a new joke or bit of trivia ready for Jonathan.
They had a continued “best toys” contest and talked about what was new and available or soon to be on the market.
They often talked shop and about computers and programming which was a ‘true love’ for both of them.
Jonathan was really starting to get to know Joan. She became a mentor when it came to going back to school – and she helped provide the kick in the pants that he needed to get him through school.
Jonathan loved to talk to her about the things in life he could look forward to after he was done with school.
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Kimberly
To Kimberly – her mother, Joan represented love, support, hugs laughter and advice. They were true role models to her.
To Kimmy – their house was command central. They were always there when she needed anyone to talk about anything.
She adored just being in their presence – being the youngest and in town – Kimmy would frequently go over to their house because it was one of the most comfortable and warm places she had been.
Joan would make it a special occasion when Kimmy came to the house and she would stop her schoolwork to spend time with her and try out her new recipes on her.
Kimmy enjoyed watching the History channel with Bob – even if it actually bored her to tears – it was just the time that she got to spend with him doing something he really enjoyed.
Kimmy would like to sit and watch Joan do the bills or homework as it gave them the opportunity to talk and hang out.
Kimmy had asked Bob to walk her down the aisle when she got married – as she felt that he was a wonderful father – but they both agreed that it might be difficult for her biological father – so Kimmy asked Joan to escort her instead. Joan was so happy.
After their murder – Kimmy chose to walk down the aisle alone - only accompanied by the spirit and memory of her mother.
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Jennifer
To Jennifer – Joan was her hero. She was her role model. Jenny wanted to be just like her mother. A hard worker who achieved anything she set her mind to. In fact, in college she wrote a paper about how Joan was a hero to her. When she presented it to Joan – she cried and was touched.
Joan was Jenny’s rock. Whenever she needed advice – and even advice she didn’t want to hear – Joan gave it with all her heart.
To Jennifer – my father – Bob represented everything a father should be. He became a surrogate daddy to her and she loved and adored him even more so because he loved her even though she wasn’t his biological daughter.
They would tease each other – and Jenny had the honor of taking care of Daddy when he had his heart bypass.
She truly regarded Bob as her father and one year on father’s day she asked him if she could call him Dad – and with tears in his eyes he said yes – and they both cried about it.
Jennifer feels blessed and honored to have known such wonderful, beautiful people.
Who Joan and Bob were to Us - Christine
To me; Joan is a mentor. She gave advice and support and encouragement. When my second son’s medical needs changed my life completely – she quietly and with gentle humor introduced me to coupons, budgets and how to find and utilize social services.
Joan also showed me how to stand back up – dust myself off – and end up better off than I was before.
Father-sir is my heart. He was the one who taught me to cook, to shop and read about the sea.
Daddy was my confidante and even across the country – he would call me to watch TV together or make a new recipe.
As grandfather sir – he would play computer games over the phone with the older boys and give them advice on how to torture me – their poor mother.
Father Sir taught me duty, honor, service and respect. That is why I teach today and serve my community in any way I can.
Negative Impacts - Jonathan
It hurts me that they never got to see me graduate from college – knowing that was something they both wanted so much for me.
They never got to see me get married and see how wonderful my wife Carla and I are together.
They will never see their grandchildren grow into the fine adults that I know they will be.
My children will never experience the love and knowledge they brought to everyone.
I miss them every day.
The image of them dead will never go away. No one should ever have to identify the bodies of people they loved. I make sure to keep a picture on my mantelpiece so each day I can try to forget a little more of those horrible images I still hold in my memory.
Negative Impacts - Kimberly
I have had nightmares. I have had dreams that they are still alive and upon waking – it is with deep sadness and regret that they are really gone.
I am now frightened to walk in front of mirrors in the dark – as I am afraid that I will see their presence and I am not ready for that yet.
I am terrified to be in my own home alone – sounds scare me and I have a fear that someone will break in and kill me.
I am scared to go from my car to the house – I always have my keys ready now and lock the door as soon as I enter the house.
I get very emotional on weekends and holidays – because I know I should really be with them at those times.
I get emotional when I drive by the Parks Mall in Arlington or drive down streets and past areas that I used to drive to with them or on the way to their house.
I have depression at the thought of not ever having them at all the special occasions. - Mom holding my hand when I have my first child – moving into my first real home – my Master’s graduation – my future children’s graduation.
I will never forget the day I got the phone call that I had to come and identify my parents’ bodies. I have never cried so much in my life – and probably never will again.
Negative Impacts - Jennifer
I don’t go a day without thinking of them. I try every day to get the images out of my head of what their house was like when it was released to us. I will never forget the smell or the sight of their blood on the walls and the carpet.
I have forgotten what it is to sleep – and I am haunted at night by dreams and night terrors of someone breaking into my home and killing me in my sleep.
I have found ways to secure and lock myself up as best I can – but I still have the fear that no matter how careful I am – that someone will eventually kill me.
I relive in my imagination every day how absolutely horrible those last moments must have been for my parents and it makes me want to weep.
My parents never got to see me marry my wonderful husband – or see the fruits of their labors in regards to the wedding.
My children will never know their grandparents. They will never get to know what wonderful people they were. They will only have my memories – “I” will only have my memories.
I will never be able to hug my mother or Bob again. Some days I would give anything to just get one last hug. I would give 15 years of my life just to get that one last hug and to tell them I love them just one more time.
I will never forget that even after all of this is over – I will never get them back and that having to go through this trial – this ordeal has made us all victims once more.
Negative Impacts - Christine
Since their murder – my days and nights are filled with grief, worry and fear. I walk the floors late at night worrying over the safety of the rest of my family.
My husband grieved the loss of his In-laws and the absence of our new baby while trying to take care of our older boys solo while I was here taking care of my family and the estate while recovering from childbirth.
Our baby Liam was 14 days old when I had to come to Texas. I had to get him on a plane and separate him from his father, his remaining grandparents, great-grandparents and brothers for the entire summer while I handled estate matters.
And even now, at 22 months – he wants and cries for mama and daddy who have had to take the trip out here for this trial.
My older children, Julian and Duncan suffer tremendously from nightmares, intense grief and emotional outbursts. Their school performance has been greatly impacted by this tragedy.
They are questioning and worrying about death in ways that such small children should not have to worry about and have impact their daily lives so intensely.
My son Duncan was required to join me for the summer of 2003 here in Texas for medical reasons – and while in the Kingswood St. KinderCare® during the day – he was told in great detail by the older children enrolled in the camp exactly how his grandparents were murdered. He held that inside for months until he finally asked if people who were killed by guns were allowed to go to heaven.
My children and husband are all learning how to live with this ‘new’ mama – one who seems always sad and only sometimes joyful.
I haven’t learned to live with this new person yet myself.
Father Sir and Grandma Joan have missed holding little Liam – their latest grandson –who has now learned to walk.
They missed Julian – my oldest son’s acceptance into his school’s excelled program.
They have missed learning that our son Duncan’s life-threatening seizures can be cured with surgery and that despite his brain injury – he has learned to read and is advanced in math.
They have missed the start of my Doctorate and my husband proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is the bravest man on earth – which is always what they believed about him.
Service and Honor
My greatest fear throughout my childhood was a knock at the door that would reveal two officers and a briefcase informing us that my Father Sir has given the ultimate sacrifice for his country. – But instead it was a late night phone call telling me that my Father Sir and his beautiful, sweet wife Joan had made the ultimate sacrifice – forced on them for a car, a cell phone and some credit cards – by Lance Kirk – an American neighbor who has served no one and made no sacrifices to serve or support others in family, community or country.
We as a family pray that one day – the full weight of what you have done to this family, this community and your family truly hit you. For not only have you taken the lives of two wonderful, caring, generous people who were trying to give you all that you asked for – but you have forever wounded my family – and your family as well.
Not only do you have to live with your actions for the rest of your life – but so do we and so does your family.
We charge you to think about the lives of our parents each and every day and what kind of contributions they made to their family, friends, community, and country. And, we charge you to reflect each day on your future and what you can change so that you also can make contributions to your family, friends, community and country.
We charge you to make positive contributions to those in your future communities.
| Permalink Here
